Friday, January 25, 2008

Please, Lord, Calm My Nerves

I hate to admit that I'm in a snit, but I am. I was so looking forward to play day with the boys. Well, a lot happened - a lot changed - and old ladies don't like it when their most fun day of the week gets a blip. I have some "What would you do" questions. You don't have to answer because I believe I already know the answers:

What would you do if someone came to your house with a 2 year old in a soiled (really, really soiled) diaper. What would you say to a Mommy who didn't change the diaper but sat down to feed a new baby (who was sleeping peacefully) and told the 2 year old to go play with the children? What would you think if the 2 year old told her Mommy that she was "dirty" and Mommy said, "I'm busy right now."? After one hour and 45 minutes when my oldest grandson came to me and said that something smelled really bad, I told the mother that she needed to change the child. It took about 15 minutes but she finally did. (At some point in all this I asked the woman if she needed a clean diaper. I have a few left over. She said she had plenty.)

How would you feel if this Mommy told you that your grandsons would never be intelligent because they are being sent to public school? According to this woman only home schooled children are intelligent and those in public schools are ignorant. My oldest grandson asked me if he is ignorant and does that mean the same as stupid. I told him that he was most certainly neither ignorant nor stupid.

How would you react if the woman's 8 year old son, who was also visiting, ignored you when you asked him not to dismantle the Lego house and boat that my grandsons worked a long time to build and were saving to show to their aunt. He looked straight at me and dropped both pieces on the floor. Mommy did one of those "Now son, be good" things and said to me "Boys will be boys, won't they?" I restrained myself - I wanted to run and scream.

God does hear prayers and after over 2 and a half hours of silent prayer and forced smiles (by me) the family was leaving with the corals daddy came to get from Harry. Those children weren't easy to capture and get out of the house.

After the mob left my youngest son told me he was going to the bathroom and off he went to the boys bathroom. In just a minute he came back and said, "Nana, you need to come with me. I need to pee pee really bad and I can't." I was alarmed because he usually goes by himself and is upset if anyone thinks he needs help. Remember, I told you that the woman finally changed her 2 year old after I told her in a stern voice that she needed to do so? Well, she did AND she left a soiled smelly diaper laying open on the bathroom floor in front of the commode, dirty wipes on the floor beside the diaper, and feces on the cold water tap in the lav. I took my grandson to our bathroom. By the time I cleaned the smelly mess in the boys bathroom I was fit to be tied. (In other words - mad as a hornet!!!)

Folks, my day has been enough to make the preacher cuss - not curse - cuss! (Cuss sounds more appropriate, doesn't it?)

Harry has apologized more than one time but it isn't his fault. How could either of us know these people have different standards than we do? Harry took me out to eat at a restaurant not too far from the house so dinner wasn't an issue. None of this is Harry's fault but I feel cheated and I'm having a near encounter with a migraine.

I promise to be in a better mood when I post next time. I hope this post doesn't scare you away. Please come back when you have time.


Cheryl said...

I'm shocked and appalled. You must feel so insulted and shocked and appalled. There is absolutely no excuse for this woman's behavior. What a terrible thing for your grandchildren to see. How do you explain something like that to a child?

Mary said...

I told the boys that we should really feel sorry for "those people" because they probably don't have many friends and that they are probably really sad deep down inside. When you're sad deep down in your heart sometimes you say and do things that you don't really believe. The boys parents will take it from there. I hope I handled it the way I should have.

C.A. said...

Mary, you are a saint. Don't be so hard on yourself. The woman was WAY past out of line, and your reaction is normal. I'm sure you were far more tolerant and gracious than I would have been. I had to re-read your post three times to soak it all in. Those poor boys of yours really got an eyefull didn't they. I'm so sorry this happened. Tomorow will be better, I promise.


Cindi Ann

Mary said...

Cindy, It was indeed a horrible experience but I have no regrets in smiling and behaving myself. I hope I was a good example for the boys. I'm anything but a saint. If you could have heard the dialog that was playing out in my mind you'd say I was a fish-wife of the highest order.

SOUL: said...

i can't believe people like that are even allowed to have kids.
i also can't believe that they don't see a thing wrong with acting that way in a persons' home.
can't say what i would have done in that situation-- but i honestly don't think i would have had the restraint that you did.
good job--
sorry about the migraine tho-- i bet i woulda got one too.
hope today is a better one.

Summer said...

Wow. A complete stranger comes to your home and violates it. I'm speechless. Totally.

I hope you're recovered today.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

That woman sounds like she is from another planet where they have no respect or care for anything or anyone---INCLUDING their own flesh & blood...!
How did they happen to be at your house in the first place??
Not only a difficult situation but a very uncomfirtable one, in every way...! No boundries and not even any common sense!
I hope no one in your family has to deal with any of them again. And I feel sorry for her children!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Thanks so much Mary, for explaining their presence....It is amazing that even from The Get-Go, these people have no concept of boundries or just plain old politeness...Bringing the whole family, without checking with you all if that was okay....HELP! (lol)

happyone said...

Oh my goodness, that is just unbelievable!!! That must have been a very LONG afternoon.

Mary said...

Soul, I had a first class headache that kept me awake most of the night.

Summer: Well put. I like your words. Violated describes how I felt.

Happyone: It was, indeed, a loooong afternoon.

Everyone: If something like this ever happens again- God forbid - I'm going to start acting like a phyco and scare them away. Being nice doesn't work.

Carmi said...

The mother sounds like an absolute piece of work. You're very kind to attribute it to "different standards." In my book, the mother has no concept of good parenting or good manners. How terrible for you, and I'm sorry that my first visit to your wonderful blog (found your link on Naomi's blog and thought I'd follow it home) has to be tinged with negativity.

You were far kinder in your response than I ever could or would have been. I wish I had your reserve.

Carmi said...

Oops. Didn't want you to think I was upset. I'm just saddened when bad people impose themselves on good people. I'm sorry you had this experience - you clearly deserve better. I'm actually glad I found your site and will be back for more.

All the best!


shameful! and disrespectful if you ask's not her home, and she could ask you to help feed *breastfeeding well,...* not to mention a hungry baby waits over a dirty soiled one..soils promote filth, waiting for food promotes patience.

She must not live near me because public schools are ranked wonderfully, and it doesn't matter where they go to school..shameful woman..she should be careful not to cast out those stones, and pick up her pebbles so that others don't trip (smell) on them, get back what you give out, and I have a sad feeling that the ones impacted will be the children. brainwashing children..[[[[shaking my head in saddness]]]]

Sorry I've been gone...out with the flu..